Parkour, negatives and Eve Ensler

I used to tell myself that I knew the secret to looking good. I knew that it didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. I knew that the most beautiful people I knew were beautiful because of something within. And that's what I told myself. I knew the secret. I mostly thought of this when I got dressed for school. Didn't matter what I wore. Didn't matter that I didn't have the nicest clothes. It was all within. Didn't matter that I couldn't find an acceptable way to fix my hair. It was all within, and it had a name: confidence.

Good workout today. I had thought that I might have to ride my bike to the swing set, since my knee was acting funny. But it felt fine this morning and I started jogging. I felt slow, like dead weight. But not too slow. And I remembered something I hadn't remembered in a while.

Parkour. I didn't stop when a car was coming and I wanted to cross the street. I kept going and cut over when it was clear. I jumped off the curbs. I cleared the median. I jump on the jungle gym and ducked under the chain and went down the slide.

I did some reading online before I left about chin ups. I learned that a chin up is very similar to a pull up - chin ups are done with palms facing me, pull ups with palms out. Pull ups are harder but work the lats better. I learned that they're both hard, actually. Some tips to get started where to mix pull ups and chin ups, keep trying, and to do negatives. That means jumping up and slowing letting yourself down.

I did 7 chin ups, 3 pull ups, 5 more chin ups and then 7 pull up negatives. When I looked in the mirror before my shower it seemed my lats where bigger, giving me more of that "sting ray" look. That V.

A funny thing about the bicep curls: my left seems to be weaker than my right. Could be that I'm more tired after the run. Maybe I'll switch the bi's and tri's.

Oh, and I found a cd of Eve Ensler reading her play The Good Body. It's about her and other women spending their lives hating their bodies. I bought it on a whim from Goodwill. I want to listen to it again, it just finished, because it's related to what I'm doing here. Changing my body with the idea that it'll make me happier. I know this has been talked about forever, and I don't want to try to talk about something that I don't really understand, but thinking about it today as I listened to Eve, it reminded me of that theory I mentioned above. And it reminded of that word: confidence.