ABORTED

ok so lets see if i can explain.

I think ive settled on something. it's different. and for this different thing i will not post photos of me musculature because this new thing is not about showing off. its about personal growth. its about discovery.

well, enough of that. read more here.

plan b

ok, so now im really skinny. something's not right here. i mean, i'm quite skinny. i knew something was up but just now i saw my complete rib cage in the mirror. not good.

i havent posted in a bit. ive been working on my diet - which i will have to explain later as im too tired to do it now - and exercise has been limited to yoga once and soccer games and reffing.

i am looking at change now.

step one - tonight we had homemade tacos with buffalo meat.

oopsie daisy

something is wrong here. i am getting skinnier. dang.

i havent been going to the gym regurlarly yet, which is sad but im working on it. the more important thing, though, is that im wasting away. our scale is broke so i dont know how much im weighing but i can tell something is wrong. i feel and see bones ive never seen before. i feel fine, just a little icky that im like this.

so i need to start tracking my intake. i have been good about leaving out dairy and eggs and animals but i have not been good at replacing them. i need to eat more beans and grains and whatever else can get me that protein in a more attractive package.

to be continued

easin on in

today we took lil j to the pool. it was a little chilly, to me anyway, so it took me a while to work up the courage to just go all the way.

same kinda thing this evening with my vegan-ness.

first i went to work out a the litle gym here. i did bench, bicep curls and then something new - pull ups using a towel. see, that's the only way i can do them around here. anyway i had to mess around with the weights because i didnt know how much i could do anymore. i also warmed up on an eliptical machine - the first time i've ever used on. so im easin my way back into it.

and so i got back and served myself some vegan lasagna that included squash and mushrooms. but no cheese or meat. and it was a bust. it had something to do with the pasta's toughness but still i need to experiment more. im thinking tofu or soy cheese, or both. i need to do some research there. see, i'm excited about having to rethink my ingredients but i have a long way to go.

also i decided that tomorrow i'll try to eat six small meals instead of three biggies.

vegan bodybuilding? are you mental?

im gonna try it out again. this time without protein powders and lots of meat. ive experimented with a vegetarian diet before - lasted six months i think it was - and now im quite sure that vegan or nearly vegan diets are better for humans and this blue planet floating all alone in space.

on top of that i have to fit in my workouts with my new family life. i stay at home with my little girl while mom works, so working out then is out. after she gets home i have all the things to do i would have done if i didnt have a child. this makes time an issue though one i hope to resolve peacefully. mom has the same issue.

im also gonig to incorporate yoga poses into the workout schedule. ive decided its quite beneficial for my body and you guessed it my mind.