plan b

ok, so now im really skinny. something's not right here. i mean, i'm quite skinny. i knew something was up but just now i saw my complete rib cage in the mirror. not good.

i havent posted in a bit. ive been working on my diet - which i will have to explain later as im too tired to do it now - and exercise has been limited to yoga once and soccer games and reffing.

i am looking at change now.

step one - tonight we had homemade tacos with buffalo meat.

oopsie daisy

something is wrong here. i am getting skinnier. dang.

i havent been going to the gym regurlarly yet, which is sad but im working on it. the more important thing, though, is that im wasting away. our scale is broke so i dont know how much im weighing but i can tell something is wrong. i feel and see bones ive never seen before. i feel fine, just a little icky that im like this.

so i need to start tracking my intake. i have been good about leaving out dairy and eggs and animals but i have not been good at replacing them. i need to eat more beans and grains and whatever else can get me that protein in a more attractive package.

to be continued

easin on in

today we took lil j to the pool. it was a little chilly, to me anyway, so it took me a while to work up the courage to just go all the way.

same kinda thing this evening with my vegan-ness.

first i went to work out a the litle gym here. i did bench, bicep curls and then something new - pull ups using a towel. see, that's the only way i can do them around here. anyway i had to mess around with the weights because i didnt know how much i could do anymore. i also warmed up on an eliptical machine - the first time i've ever used on. so im easin my way back into it.

and so i got back and served myself some vegan lasagna that included squash and mushrooms. but no cheese or meat. and it was a bust. it had something to do with the pasta's toughness but still i need to experiment more. im thinking tofu or soy cheese, or both. i need to do some research there. see, i'm excited about having to rethink my ingredients but i have a long way to go.

also i decided that tomorrow i'll try to eat six small meals instead of three biggies.

vegan bodybuilding? are you mental?

im gonna try it out again. this time without protein powders and lots of meat. ive experimented with a vegetarian diet before - lasted six months i think it was - and now im quite sure that vegan or nearly vegan diets are better for humans and this blue planet floating all alone in space.

on top of that i have to fit in my workouts with my new family life. i stay at home with my little girl while mom works, so working out then is out. after she gets home i have all the things to do i would have done if i didnt have a child. this makes time an issue though one i hope to resolve peacefully. mom has the same issue.

im also gonig to incorporate yoga poses into the workout schedule. ive decided its quite beneficial for my body and you guessed it my mind.

big pains

boom. worked out today, a sunday. did incline, shoulder press, dips on a bench, then...i couldn't find a good place to do pull ups, so i rode my bike to city park. they have an old school work out station with with a sign from the 70's. they actually spruced it up since the last time i was there - layed down pulp and stuff. then at home i ate a bag of smoked salmon. and i liked it.

Back

yes, back. workin the back. again.

I've been wanting to work out again for a while now and i finally found time - on the weekends, in the morning.

my first workout was saturday afternoon. I took the weekend off from my reffing job and found the time to remember my routine after i studied my workout journal. i had to look up supine row and the difference between chin and pull ups.

in the gym i did four excercises - standing shoulder press and reclining curls; and bench and row. felt good. and today i'm sore, that good sore.

so, the plan is to work out sats and suns. we'll see what that does.

oh, and i ate anchovies after the workout - because a can had 20 games of protein. it was intense. i bought some pakcaged salmon at the store later because it has 21 grams...

a little change, a little interruption

I had a nice little stretch in June and July, but some school projects slowed me down in July. Then I started biking to school. And I couldn't bike and workout in the same day. It was killing me.

So I haven't worked out since Aug 5. But I started doing Pilates and a Ball workout twice a week at UNO. That's been good for my core. I can't even do it all yet, it hurts so.

But I miss the workouts.

Yesterday, after the Pilates, there was a free body fat test. I'm at 14.9 % and have 29 lbs of muscle, so they said. Not bad at all.

I talked to a nutritionist there who recommended egg white omelets with low fat mozzarella and spinach. I made one today with tomatoes, mushrooms and onions. It was delish and I'd do it again, I tell you.

So, we'll see when I can work out again. Workin on it.

that was fun

Same and I are drying off. I'm sitting on a towel and she's rubbing her back on the rug. We just got back from a run in the rain. It was drizzling when we started and picked up from there. And it felt right to just keep on. We ran to City Park where I did my chin/pull ups ans Same whined at me. I heard a roar coming from Tad Gormley Stadium, which was just a few hundred yards away.

Better, nicer, warmer

What have been doing this last month? Well, my workouts have not been as consistent as I'd like - I missed a few days - but they've been more invigorating than usual. Those new exercises, including the parkour, the chin and pull ups and the french press, have all produced results. The parkour helps me core, the ups my back, the french my tris.

I weighed myself at home just now. 195 lbs. I can't really trust it but can compare it to my last weigh in. Which is the same.

I've been wearing my sleeveless shirts more often. I got a new one from my mom and some more 3/4 pants - love em. I can really notice a difference in my body shape, and I like it. I do feel better about myself, actually. I don't know though if it's the pride in my accomplishment or if it's I feel "hotter." Feels like the former.

Just one more thing. I'm waiting for my pecks to have that cut look. Not even close now. I'm doing bench and incline for chest. Maybe there's something else...

Oh, and today I ran with Old Girl (Same) to City Park. I knew I'd seen one of those exercise stations you see along running paths before - with the stretching posts and instructions. I wanted a pull-up bar. We finally found it behind the Museum. Gosta.

Parkour, negatives and Eve Ensler

I used to tell myself that I knew the secret to looking good. I knew that it didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. I knew that the most beautiful people I knew were beautiful because of something within. And that's what I told myself. I knew the secret. I mostly thought of this when I got dressed for school. Didn't matter what I wore. Didn't matter that I didn't have the nicest clothes. It was all within. Didn't matter that I couldn't find an acceptable way to fix my hair. It was all within, and it had a name: confidence.

Good workout today. I had thought that I might have to ride my bike to the swing set, since my knee was acting funny. But it felt fine this morning and I started jogging. I felt slow, like dead weight. But not too slow. And I remembered something I hadn't remembered in a while.

Parkour. I didn't stop when a car was coming and I wanted to cross the street. I kept going and cut over when it was clear. I jumped off the curbs. I cleared the median. I jump on the jungle gym and ducked under the chain and went down the slide.

I did some reading online before I left about chin ups. I learned that a chin up is very similar to a pull up - chin ups are done with palms facing me, pull ups with palms out. Pull ups are harder but work the lats better. I learned that they're both hard, actually. Some tips to get started where to mix pull ups and chin ups, keep trying, and to do negatives. That means jumping up and slowing letting yourself down.

I did 7 chin ups, 3 pull ups, 5 more chin ups and then 7 pull up negatives. When I looked in the mirror before my shower it seemed my lats where bigger, giving me more of that "sting ray" look. That V.

A funny thing about the bicep curls: my left seems to be weaker than my right. Could be that I'm more tired after the run. Maybe I'll switch the bi's and tri's.

Oh, and I found a cd of Eve Ensler reading her play The Good Body. It's about her and other women spending their lives hating their bodies. I bought it on a whim from Goodwill. I want to listen to it again, it just finished, because it's related to what I'm doing here. Changing my body with the idea that it'll make me happier. I know this has been talked about forever, and I don't want to try to talk about something that I don't really understand, but thinking about it today as I listened to Eve, it reminded me of that theory I mentioned above. And it reminded of that word: confidence.

wearing my tan on my sleeve

I've been doing a few things that are out of character.

I've always been too self-conscious to take off my shirt. Getting in the pool was always a mental battle. I had to convince myself that it didn't matter what I looked like. I laid by the pool today shirtless.

I guess it started when I bought a sleeveless shirt from Amercian Apparel. Just going in there is like, I don't know, a practice in playing it cool. I know I probably stand out like square in a circle shop, but I try to keep it together. I may not be one of you, I think, but I'm sure as hell trying to act like it.

So I wore it to pick up Bek and she laughed, like I knew she would. It's all related to this body building thing. It'll be strange and funny but then it'll be normal. I'm trying not to take myself too seriously here.

Back to the point of this post, I wore my sleeveless Mexico jersey to Jazz Fest, laid shirtless in the park with Same, wore the AA shirt to the bike shop and then just now took off my shirt by the pool while I read. Oh, and I'm doing it to get rid of my tan line, not to show off. I'm not that comfortable with my body. I'll show the guns first, then maybe later the whole arsenal.

(By the way, I'm trying to reflect more, assess my feelings more in this endevour. Because I'm realizing, as I read a book for my summer course -the book is called The Ethnographic I- that the emotion is, actually, where it's at. If I don't reveal how this effects me, what I really think about it all, then you readers will never connect. Oh, and while I was hoping this book would help with my Peace Corps book, I am finding that this story will be a good candidate as well. Maybe even the bike building thing could turn into an essay. Also, this blog thing really is turning out to be a good way record my thoughts. And it'll be helpful to go back and see how I felt in contrast to how I feel when I read it.)

Back in the Saddle

Two days straight, Monday and Tuesday, I was in thy gym. I drank my protein and did my ab work. I did some new stuff, too. Inspired by the routines I mentioned in my last post, I added the French Press (a tricep excercise with dumbells, replacing the machine), a Dumbell Row (replacing the machine row) and Arnold-inspired chin-ups. I read that he did different kinds of chin ups, behind the back, using v-shaped bars. He could do 50.

I couldn't find a place to do the chin-ups in the apartment complex but I thought maybe I could use some of the playground equipment on Jeff Davis. So I jogged there. The first time I've jogged since soccer ended. Slow going (and now my right knee hurts again). The first jungle gym was no good. I jogged past Canal and found a swing set. There weas a construction crew working on a restaurant nearby, and I was a bit self conscious. This happens to me sometimes. When I'm doing something that might draw attention to myself. Like biking, or waiting for a bus. But I told myself I was in New Orleans, not Lake Charles, and they probably wouldn't give it a second thought.

I did 10 chin-ups. 5, then 3, then 2. I loved it, though. I felt weak and with that I felt the need to strengthen. I know the reps will only go up.

back in the saddle?

This week I worked out twice, doing the more-reps-less-weight thing. Next week I should be right on. I'll try this workout for now, but I found a few back ups from a Natural Bodybuilding website, NANBF.org.

a change of pace

I haven't worked out for three weeks now. I took that first week off because my elbow felt funny. Then I just couldn't get back into the gym. There are a few reasons: since we moved I started taking the bus, which takes a long time to get anywhere, so I had to wake up earlier, thus I lost my work out time; also, it's the end of the semester and I've had lots of work to do. I plan on starting up again next Monday.

It's strange to think that my protein shake jar and blender have taken a break, too. And my workout towel and journal.

I'm sure my new weight and photos will show little improevment, if any, from last month. But after my last post I started putting peanut butter in my smoothies and pecans in my pancakes. I like the change.

Also, I bought chocolate flavored protein powder. I was getting bored with the vanilla, even though broseph warned me that the chocolate was nasty. When I bought it from Walmart I was carrying it around and a guy pushing a cart and following his wife stopped me.

"Where'd you get that?" he said.
"Pharmacy area," I said.
"Yeah, I need some of that. What kind you got?"
"Chocolate."
"Yeah, that's right. The chocolate's the best."

When I get back in the gym I'm going to vary my weights and reps and maybe exercises, too.

Oh, and I bought a sleeveless shirt for the summer. I like the look of my arms, except that they're white as ghosts.

weight and diet

So, I think I have my correct weight.  189 lbs.  This week I worked out here at the apartment and then once at UNO.  It just worked out better time-wise.  So I was able to weigh myself as I once did.  So let's throw last month's crazy number out. (Also, I weighed myself at the HPC to compare - it read 195.5 lbs., 6.5 lbs. different, for future reference.)

I talked to my brother yesterday and got some ideas diet-wise.  He's using the Zone diet as a basis for his diet, and basically it's less breads and more fats and proteins, meaning peanut butter and olive oil, for example.  I added pecans to my pancake this morning and will add pb to my protein smoothies.

Plus, at UNO I kinda hurt my right elbow.  Felt like a nerve pinch, slight.  I took off the next day and the next and here we are.  I'll get back in the gym Monday, maybe changing up some of the exercises for less weight and more reps, since I'm getting bored.

a note on the new gym

This gym is small here at the apartment.  No bars, just some dumbells and a broken multi-purpose machine.  The rest is treadmills, stairmasters and bikes, which are popular.  Those and the ab cruncher benches, all of which I don't use.  I think they're silly.  I'd rather really run or ride or climb.  Or crunch.

The only other people I've seen use the dumbells are women who do lite workouts, and that hasn't been often.  I've had to change my routine a little.  For example, some dumbells are missing, but they have the all-in-one dumbell that you can adjust.  So I have to use that for 25 and 40 lbs, I think it is.  And when I''m ready for 60 lbs +, I'll have to go there, too.

I don't mind the smaller gym, the fewer options, the different crowd - mostly thirty-somethings and middle-aged professionals here.  I've chatted with some of them, just a bit.  It's more, what's the word...well, the conditions encourage social interaction.  Which is nice.

Back on track

looks like I'm back on track.  It did my four workouts this week.  I still have to get back on track with the protein shakes, though, and the ab and back workouts.  I took off a few pounds for each exercise so I could get back into it without hurting meself.

Unbelievable

So, it seems I gained around 10 lbs in a month.  Confused I am.  New gym, new schedule...is that the answer?  Well, like I said, whatever.  I'm happy.  I've never weighed this much, and 200 lbs is a big benchmark.

Weigh-in

In the past, I weighed myself after a workout. So all the weights up to this month, March, are all on the same scale after a workout and should be good. This month we have moved and I no longer use the gym nor the scale I used to. So, I used another scale, here in the athlete's gym.

Today I went into the old gym and used the scale with pants and shoes, my business casual attire, not the gym clothes I usually have. I didn't come straight from a workout either, though I did workout out this morning. The scale read 194 lbs. The scale at home said 200 lbs. yesterday and the scale here in the athlete's gym says 199 lbs. Whatever. Should I average them out, or what?

Spring Break for my Shoulder

I haven't worked out for one week, exactly, because I hurt my left shoulder my last workout. Not sure how, as I mentioned last post. I'll get back on it soon enough.